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The Essay
Show #7
Peter The Hermit
David Gunn
From radio station WGDR, home of the Giuseppe Doggerel Rhapsody, it's yet another episode of Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour, broadcasting this week from nearly the same spot as last week, the difference being that every piece of visible studio equipment is precisely two inches to the left of where it was last week. I don't pretend to understand the significance of this broadcast paranormal event, but thought our radio audience should be kept apprised of all such radio phenomena.

Well, it's a regular potpourri of musical birthdays today, including Percy Grainger, George Antheil, Ernest Bloch and Nelson Rockefeller, but more importantly to Kalvos & Damian it also signifies the tragic end of an enormously important musical life. Peter the Hermit, battle musician-to-the-court of the First Crusades, ceased complaining and also breathing on this date in 1115. Pete lived in an acoustically superior cave for much of his formative early life, and it was there that he undoubtedly developed his craft. His "Fugue For Rocks and Debris Cleared After the Cave-In" shows a keen sense of counterpoint, and the enchanting "Bat For Breakfast Suite" demonstrates a buoyant lyrical quality unheard of in those morose times. When he was a young man he wandered into a village, ate half a regiment of soldiers, and was subsequently awarded the honoured position of royal battle musician to the court. Why, we may never know, but those were, as I said, maroon times. Anyway, he soon penned the stirring "An Army In Hasty Retreat" for his Crusader employers, a ditty which was quoted liberally by composers as diverse as Handel and Sting. I say Pete's life came to a tragic end, and it was on this date 880 years ago today, this very afternoon, while putting the finishing touches on what was to be his greatest work, that his expiration date kicked in. The piece, of course, was "That Bear Looks Hungry, Ow! Ow! ..."

We had a guest Vermont composer-o-the-week scheduled to appear today, but a rather nasty reaction to a slice of organic potash he or she was snacking on yesterday caused her or him to spontaneously vaporize. Should his or her molecules choose to reassemble in a pattern resembling human tissue festooned with corduroy recognizable to Kalvos &/or Damian, we will endeavor to put her or him on our next available program.

Today's regularly scheduled Avant-Announcement will not be heard today in order that we may present the following Avant-Annoucement.

Today's program is entitled Episode #7, or le flambeau oriange, and may be ordered à la carte in fine restaurants throughout the lesser northcentral Vermont area. It is also available through Kalvos & Damian's New Music Sesquihour Shopping Channel on many of the finer cable networks. Tune in today and view the whole line of Sesquihour merchandise.

Last week's feature, "The Best of the Sesquihour," generated such a -- how shall I put it? -- subdued reaction that we thought we should try again today, so here is "The Best of The Best of the Sesquihour," presenting listenable snippets from listenable snippets from "The Best of the Sesquihour", a/k/a How Do, by Sesquihour in-house composer, David Gunn.

This portion of le flambeau oriange is brought to you in part by this portion of le flambeau oriange.

And now, for more news of July 8 birthday boys, girls and other fine cadavers, here's our own musical necrophagicist, Kalvos.